Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Bobby and Melissa

Hey God. I don’t even know where to begin. This week you’ve been so obviously at work in me…it’s been a great experience, but hard. Camp Barnabas was amazing (we’ll talk more about that later…when I’m more in the mood to look back on it all). You’ve been breaking me down to say the least and preparing me for something great. A huge crescendo into something better than I could never begin to imagine. But that’s the problem. I can’t imagine it. I’m so blind. I can’t see through your eyes into the big picture as easily as I’d like. They left today, officially. I’m scared and heartbroken. I want to trust in you and give you all my fears and insecurities but it’s so hard. I find my heart warring against all you’ve taught me. Yea, I want to see the big picture and trust that you know what you’re doing, but at the same time… I find I’m having trouble letting go of the past and my selfish ambitions. I don’t want to let go of bobby. He’s like the older brother I never had. He’s my family, my listener, my youth minister, my encourager, and above all my friend. I don’t want to let go of Melissa. She’s been a second mom to me. She has a spiritual strength and peace about her that draws me into what she has in you. Through them you have given me so many things, such as a passion I never thought I’d have. I’ve been blessed beyond numerical recognition.
I don’t know what to do. I’m dazed and numb as if this were all just a bad dream. Please, help me to trust in you and your wisdom, which is foolishness to man. Give me your eyes so I can see, or at least be at peace with, the things you’re doing in this group. I know you have a plan…to prosper us, not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11) but right now it doesn’t feel like it. My heart is breaking. My tears are flowing freely. And it makes me wonder how anything good could come out of this (Though I firmly believe otherwise). I’m scared. Not only do I hurt with a strange emptiness, but the unknown of what will happen now and who might step in the now empty roll of Youth Minister frightens me. Guide me oh my rock, my shelter. Comfort me oh my Prince of Peace. Help me step up and provide the same for my fellow brothers and sisters. Help me to see that Bobby, though my friend, is not mine to hold on to. He is yours, to do with as you will. Give me a peace that passes all understanding and your incomprehensible wisdom, that I might let go of what I’ve held so dear to my heart.

Bobby & Melissa (verses)

· You are not your own; you were bought at a price. (1 Corinthians 6:19)

· …all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. (Colossians 1:17)

· Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39)

· Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to his life, just as it is, destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal. (John 12:24)

· Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. (James 1:2-3)

· Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)

· Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. (Psalm 51:12)

· And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose…If God is for us who can be against us?... in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:28-)

· Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2)

· Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:11-12)

· Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me. (Psalm 23)

· Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Mathew 11:28)

· I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2)

· You keep record of my sorrows. You collect my tears in a bottle and record each one. (Psalm 56:8)

· Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross…consider him…so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

· Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

· Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive and inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. (Colossians 3:23-24)

· “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not grow faint.” (Isaiah 40: 31)

~ “People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when darkness comes their true colors gleam only if there is a light from within.”