Thursday, August 13, 2009


school started today! I'm taking: college algebra, anatomy/phisiology, modern history, Girls Bible, Spanish 3, English, philosophy, and I'm a part time teachers aide. Senior! anyway, it's late, have homework, but wanted to say pray for this year. kinda stressfull. Pray that God will use me to accomplish his will, that i might trust in Him and surrender my life, and that I might recieve energy, strength, and tenacity.
Love u guys!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Ian Funny

Ian Hughes came over to our house yesterday. It was fun. There's one specific moment that stood out to me, however. He and hunter had been hanging out upstairs for awhile when Ian came down. He was a man on a mission.
Ian: "Mrs. Yeats, do think i could come back home with you after vbs and spend the night with Hunter?"
Mom: "Well, I don't think so. We have a lot to do tomorrow, but maybe some other time. What did Hunter say?"
Ian: "He said you'd say yes or no."
Ah, that was a bright spot in my day. You gotta love him.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Bobby and Melissa

Hey God. I don’t even know where to begin. This week you’ve been so obviously at work in me…it’s been a great experience, but hard. Camp Barnabas was amazing (we’ll talk more about that later…when I’m more in the mood to look back on it all). You’ve been breaking me down to say the least and preparing me for something great. A huge crescendo into something better than I could never begin to imagine. But that’s the problem. I can’t imagine it. I’m so blind. I can’t see through your eyes into the big picture as easily as I’d like. They left today, officially. I’m scared and heartbroken. I want to trust in you and give you all my fears and insecurities but it’s so hard. I find my heart warring against all you’ve taught me. Yea, I want to see the big picture and trust that you know what you’re doing, but at the same time… I find I’m having trouble letting go of the past and my selfish ambitions. I don’t want to let go of bobby. He’s like the older brother I never had. He’s my family, my listener, my youth minister, my encourager, and above all my friend. I don’t want to let go of Melissa. She’s been a second mom to me. She has a spiritual strength and peace about her that draws me into what she has in you. Through them you have given me so many things, such as a passion I never thought I’d have. I’ve been blessed beyond numerical recognition.
I don’t know what to do. I’m dazed and numb as if this were all just a bad dream. Please, help me to trust in you and your wisdom, which is foolishness to man. Give me your eyes so I can see, or at least be at peace with, the things you’re doing in this group. I know you have a plan…to prosper us, not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11) but right now it doesn’t feel like it. My heart is breaking. My tears are flowing freely. And it makes me wonder how anything good could come out of this (Though I firmly believe otherwise). I’m scared. Not only do I hurt with a strange emptiness, but the unknown of what will happen now and who might step in the now empty roll of Youth Minister frightens me. Guide me oh my rock, my shelter. Comfort me oh my Prince of Peace. Help me step up and provide the same for my fellow brothers and sisters. Help me to see that Bobby, though my friend, is not mine to hold on to. He is yours, to do with as you will. Give me a peace that passes all understanding and your incomprehensible wisdom, that I might let go of what I’ve held so dear to my heart.

Bobby & Melissa (verses)

· You are not your own; you were bought at a price. (1 Corinthians 6:19)

· …all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. (Colossians 1:17)

· Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39)

· Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to his life, just as it is, destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal. (John 12:24)

· Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. (James 1:2-3)

· Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)

· Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. (Psalm 51:12)

· And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose…If God is for us who can be against us?... in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:28-)

· Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2)

· Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:11-12)

· Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me. (Psalm 23)

· Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Mathew 11:28)

· I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2)

· You keep record of my sorrows. You collect my tears in a bottle and record each one. (Psalm 56:8)

· Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross…consider him…so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

· Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

· Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive and inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. (Colossians 3:23-24)

· “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not grow faint.” (Isaiah 40: 31)

~ “People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when darkness comes their true colors gleam only if there is a light from within.”

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I don't even know where to begin. God has been so good to me. He's been working on my heart and continued the journey I began at the beginning of the year when I said, "Here I am, Lord. Send me." There’s so much to say, I won’t have room to say it all, nor the ability to give the words power but hopefully God will take my inadequacy and make this into something beautiful.
I’ve been re-reading the shack lately. The part of it that has been burned into my memory and my heart is how independent we are as a culture. It’s how we live, and yet, God is calling us to give that up, make him our focus, grow in a relationship with him, and become totally dependent on him. That’s what I long to do, become totally dependent on my Abba, making him the center of my life. However, I have a little thing called fear barring the way, it was the wall around my heart.
It’s with this longing in my heart that I set out for akouo this past weekend. I was expecting God to work and do something, I always do, but I wasn’t expecting that something to hit me so hard. Everything I had on my heart, it’s exactly what akouo was about. It’s exactly what I needed, it was so cool and really powerful. However, the weekend as a whole is not what stands imprinted on my mind and my heart, it was our last evening there.
We split off into just our youth groups and had a time to reflect on the weekend and Praise our Father. The worship was intense, I loved it. After a couple of songs people started confessing things that they had on their hearts, mainly about walls they’d been building, how fake they’d been living, and asking for forgiveness. It hit kinda close, because I had my own walls, fear mainly, that I’d been building and then hiding behind for so long. I felt tears come to my eyes and the spirit nudge me confess myself, but I was scared so I pushed the tears back and ignored the spirit. Then Bobby started talking and began his confession. God used him to get me. Bobby’s was so heartfelt that he was crying pretty heavily near the beginning and all the way through. I can’t stand it when people cry, it makes me tear up too. That didn’t help me any, by way of keeping back my tears, my emotions, and my confession anyway. Then on top of that Bobby also was talking about walls he’d been building. (We’ve talked so he knew of my fear, my walls.) Under the umbrella of the walls he was listing different examples of things we “might” have as walls that we just needed to give to God. “Just let it go”, he said. One particular example he said right as he looked and pointed at me. …the fear of what people think…then our eyes met and I just lost it. I couldn’t hold in the tears and emotions any longer. I don’t think there was a person in there with dry eyes. We cried, and prayed, and tried to sing through the tears for probably an hour or more. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer. So, with a tear stained face and many more falling, I choked out my confession of how, for too long, I too had been building up my own walls. I’d been hiding behind my fear and I was tired of living that way. It’s not what I was made for. I asked for forgiveness and received showers of hugs and love. At that moment, I felt the last of my carefully laid walls of fear crumble to dust and blow apart…as far as the east is from the west. An unexplainable peace and joy fell over me and I felt whole, complete for the first time in a long time. My fear and my walls were gone.
Cool right? But God wasn’t done there. When I got home Sunday afternoon, I went upstairs and was laying on my bed when a song came on the radio. It’s one I know all the lyrics to and I love the beat, but it had never registered in my head nor my heart exactly what the words were saying, nor that the speaker in the song was not me, but my Abba. These are the words that I heard:
Come on, it's me you're talking to
There's something going on inside of you
Don't have to say it, but I wish you would
Cause it would be much easier

You always hide behind yourself
You walk a lonely road with no one's help
I hate to break the news
You're headed for a fall

Chorus: And if I have to jump
Then I'll jump And I won't look down
You can cry, you can fight, we can scream and shout
I'll push and pull Until your walls come down
And you understand I'm gonna be around
I'm sticking with you

Even if you try and shut me out
I'm staying here cause that's what love's about
I might let you down, but I won't let you go

So lean into me, I want to know
Everything about the fear you hold inside
Cause you and I are better than just one, so


If that's what it means to love you
If that's what it means to have your back
If that's what it takes to show you
Then I'm in, I'm in

As I laid there on my bed, tears flowing freely down my face I felt the last of my walls fall down, walls I didn’t even know were there and I was filled with an overflowing love that comes only from the Father.
My chains of fear are gone…I’ve been set free.
We serve a good God don’t we?!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Life Changing New Years

You'lll hear more about this tomorrow in church, I hope, but I'd like for you all to have a chance to read it. I have something on my heart that I feel compelled to share with you. I know what’s in my heart but I honestly have no idea how to put it into words. I feel light, and weightless, as if a huge burden has been lifted from my life. To better explain what I’m trying to say, let me tell you about my life changing New Years. Before the teen New Years Eve lock-in, I came across an article in my magazine for Christian girls. It showed me a completely new and different way to approach the New Year. At one point it says, “I’m all about thinking ahead and planning for the future, but the Bible tells me specifically not to bank on the future. I can try to trap time in a silver watch or measure it on a calendar, but I can’t stop it from moving. I can’t control it or hold onto it or bank up extra minutes to keep. I’m just told to do something important with today. Instead of making another resolution that I would, in all likelihood, forget by Jan. 4, I approached the new year with a different attitude.” The rest of this article basically talks about the prophet Isaiah during a time of turmoil and grief. In the same year that Isaiah was faced with the death of his king and friend, Uzziah, he saw the Lord seated on a throne. When the Lord asked, “Whom shall I send? And whom will go for us?”, Isaiah didn’t let the chaos, the unknown, or the unfamiliarity hold him back any longer. He says, “Here I am. Send me.” With one whispered prayer he dedicated every day he had left to the service of his God. This is what I found myself struggling with before the lock-in. I certainly had the chaos, stress, uncertainty, overwhelmed, fearful and weak feeling down to a tee, but giving it all completely over to God…well, that was a different matter. I’m not sure why it was so hard for me; I guess I felt like I was beyond saving. Anyway, I thought the article was worth sharing even though I was still wrestling with parts of it. So, I found myself reading it to the youth group during our New Years devotional. I was so nervous, but I felt compelled to share it with them. After I was done reading, I found myself slowly begin to forget about the parts I’d been struggling with, all importance lost in the excitement of the night. However, Thursday evening my brother just “happened” to be flipping through TV channels and came across a Christian radio station. It was playing a song that I’d heard thousands of times before, but I had never really paid much attention to the words. I heard the words this time and they hit me hard, penetrating right into my soul. These are the words that I heard:

Sometimes your calling comes in dream
Sometimes it comes in the Spirit's breeze,
You reach for the deepest part of me,
And call out for the things of eternity.
But I'm a man, of dust and stains,You move in me, so I can say,

CHORUS:Here I am, Lord, send me,
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord, send me,
Somehow my story, Is part of your plan,
Here I am

When setbacks and failures, and upset plans,
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands,
Are you not the closest when it's hardest to stand?
I know that you will finish what you began.
These broken parts you will redeem,Become the song, that I can sing

Here I am, Lord, send me,
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord, send me,
Somehow my story, Is part of your plan,
Here I am

Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness,
And the fear that I'll fail you in the end,
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but you can.

Here I am, Lord, send me,
I want to live my life as an offering
Here I am, Lord, send me,
Somehow my story, Is part of your plan,
Here I am

Here I am, all my life an offering to you, to you
Somehow my story, Is part of your plan,
Here I am

God has an amazing way of communicating what he wants his children to know. I live and breathe music, singing wherever I go. So, when I’m told something really amazing I’m like, “Wow, that was cool.”, but when I hear something through a song it becomes really powerful. When I heard this song I completely lost it. These were the very words my heart was trembling. All of a sudden a brick wall, I hadn’t even realized I’d been building, inside of me snapped and, through a tear stained face, I quite literally started throwing all my burdens and all my brokenness at the feet of my Father. Somehow I felt him embrace me and I felt whole. (Something I haven’t felt in a long time.) I knew without a doubt that I was going to be ok, because my Heavenly Father was not going to let go. Then, I too dedicated every second of every hour of every day I have left to the service of my God. I whispered the same words Isaiah said, “Here I am. Send me”, because the days I live and each breath I take have absolutely no meaning if they don’t belong to my Abba. I share this with you, so that you might hold me accountable to my promise to our God. I’m weak and I’m scared. I stumble a lot and too often in the past have I become discouraged and all too quickly given up. I’m still bound to fall and will fail at times to uphold my promise, but through your prayers may I find the strength to get up and keep going through any and every situation.

Love you all,